All art is a kind of subconscious madness expressed in terms of sanity.

The notion that as a man grows older, his illusions leave him is not quite true. What is true is that his early illusions are supplanted by new, and to him, equally convincing illusions.

Theatre is what literature does at night.

The theatre is an escape from reality.

[A] man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

Like everybody else, when I don’t know what else to do, I seem to go in for catching colds.

Whenever a man encounters a woman in a mood he doesn’t understand, he wants to know if she’s tired.

A man’s wife is his compromise with the illusion of his first sweetheart.

An abstainer is the sort of man you wouldn’t want to drink with even if he did.

Criticism is the art of appraising others at one’s own value.